Belgium's known for a lot of things. Never mind that it's the heart of the EU, or that Napoleon got his ass kicked in Waterloo -- forget the diamonds in Antwerp and the battlefields of Ypres (OK, maybe not the latter, that's kind of important). It's the food and drinks that they're really known for. Waffles, chocolate, beer... mussels and fries. If there were ever a country after American's own cholesterol laden heart other than itself, it is Belgium.
And by no means am I exaggerating. When it comes to things to make you fat, Belgium truly has America beat. Believe it. No matter where you walk around in Brussels, for example, you're bound to find a fry shop, chocolatier, pub with more beers than you can count, or the sweet smell of waffles wafting through the air. It is that prevalent. But today I'm going to talk about the fries, because those are just as important as anything else.
The story goes that during WW1 American doughboys saw Belgian troops eating fries and subsequently called them "French fries" -- after all, they were speaking French, so who else could they be? They then brought the idea back to the states and the rest is fatty fatty two-by-four history.
I figure if you've never been to Belgium it must be hard to picture where you get fries, and why. Especially if you're from the US and you can (and maybe do) get them with just about any meal you want. I wanted to visit for years and read all about where to go and what to do but paid no attention to the frites.
So first off, why? Well, everyone loves fries. Or they should. Secondly, it's a matter of Belgian pride, as they're the ones who created them. It's almost an art form here. In the end, though, it's just a nice treat; they're good, they're cheap, and they hit the spot. There are also a billion different sauces to choose from to mix things up a bit, some of which still remain a mystery to me. Your typical menu of sauces at any given place consists of the following, and it's easy to understand why it can get confusing: Sauce Blanche, Sauce Samouraï, Sauce Andalouse, Sauce Harissa , Sauce Aïl , Sauce Cocktail/Américaine, Sauce Barbecue, Sauce Curry , Sauce Tartare... the list can go on.
The Belgians and Dutch prefer straight up mayo, but a lot of the other sauces are mayonnaise-based and ketchup-based with different spices thrown in. Example: Américain is simply mayo + ketchup. Some are hot, some just have a different tang. I tried samourai on my Kebabs before I knew it was essentially fiery mayonnaise and fell in love with it. Only later when I realized what I had done did I feel dirty (I got over it). If I'm not sure what to get I stick to a little bit of ketchup and some salt and that's it. Depends on your mood and how many hours or days you'd like to shave off of your life.The fries themselves are supposed to be fresh, "irregularly cut", and fried twice. The oil used for frying is really what gives them their unique flavor -- each friterie has their own oil and cooking method of choice. Normally, the fries are served in a cone (to maximize the amount) and the sauce comes splattered on top. You eat them with a little plastic fork unless you're me, in which case you just dig in with your hands. That's when the cone and the sauce become a problem. Honestly, I couldn't care less what they come in, because when you get frites here in Belgium it's usually after you've had a few beers. Whether it's the same night after nursing some 8%'ers or the next day to nurse your hangover, it really doesn't matter; the two go hand in hand.
Ironically, the best frite places are often little stands placed through out the city. You might expect more, but then you'd be disappointed. Most of the places are in "fritkots" (that'd be dutch this time), almost resembling what we'd call a "roachcoach" back in the US. A little portable trailer and nothing more. Even the brick and mortar places are incredibly small. You can get "french fries" anywhere, but it doesn't mean the establishment is devoted to them, so it's not going to be the same. I think in this case, the smaller it is, the better. Here are 4 places I frequent or at least know of for now. All of them are hailed by locals and tourists alike, so you really can't go wrong:
Fritland
This one is an exception to the rule, as it's even got sitting area inside. As per my rule, it's really not the best place in town, but Fritland is very popular, and for a reason. It is where you go after a night of drinking, or after a night of anything, actually. It's open late -- 1.00AM or so, and it's situated right in the center near the bus stops. On your typical Friday or Saturday night, you hit up a few bars and try some Belgian beers, then head home on the bus. Before you get there, the smell of this place hits your nostrils and soon you're queuing in line for a cone your own... which, inevitably, ends up being shared, willingly or not, with your buddies... everyone mauling at it like a group of Mr. Potato Head zombies. You can sit inside during the day if you feel like exposing yourself to the immense amount of heat being put out by the fryers, and like most places you can get kebab-like sandwiches or loempia or just about anything deep fried. At night they close the doors, so you order from the window and then stand around gorging yourself like a fat fuck in front of all the people catching their buses. But it's worth it when you're desperate.
Frit'Flagey
I pass this place on the bus all the time. I look at it longingly and yet it always seems to evade me. Part of the reason is because it's always packed, but if the locals like it, you know it's worth the effort. It's situated in a chaotic area -- Place Flagey -- on the way to the University of Brussels, so it's a sort of hub stop for trams and buses, along with a billion cars weaving here and there across the FUBAR'd intersection. Apparently, one of the guys running the place is fairly well known for being a dick. Much like the "Soup Nazi" in Seinfeld, he will refuse service to you if he doesn't like the way you speak to him. Part of me thinks that's wonderful and I'd like to have a beer with that man, and the other part of me says, if I wait in line 30 minutes for some fries I better fucking get them. There are other places, however, which leads me to...
Pitta De La Chapelle
That's right, everybody. Here's a picture of a beautiful chapel built in 1134 and I'm talking about the fritekot in front of it. Let's just call these guys religious, as they had the balls to name their fry stand after the gigantic medieval church situated behind them. In fact, you can hardly see the 'kot in the picture because it's dwarfed by said church (behind the van). That's Belgium, baby. It's located near the Sablon where you can find a lot of antique shops and a market area on Sundays. I go there for the fries. The guys are really nice and you can take a seat on one of the benches next to the church if it isn't too busy. Normally it's a calm area, which is why I frequent it. There's an ATM really close by and you can use your extra money to get a Poulet Croc if you get the chance -- it's just a stick of deep fried chicken, but it is truly a piece of heaven. After that you can go into the church and pray for your arteries.
Tabora
These guys are hardcore. They stay open until 6am and apparently use veal fat for their frites, giving them their own unique flavor. This is the first friterie I visited in Brussels. Marine took me there after a night of wandering around and it was definitely a surprise. In America you're used to fries sitting under heat lamps and being shoveled at you in cardboard cartons by fast food workers who couldn't give a shit. I don't know if they give a shit at Tabora, but it sure seems like it. It's small and it can be a pain in the ass waiting in line some nights as there is simply the cooking area and room for a handful of people to order. Normally, you get your food and stand or sit (if the chairs aren't already taken) outside at the tables or simply go for a walk. That's my only complaint, there's no where to really chill with your fries. I'd prefer a dark corner so that no one sees me at my most grotesque.
